“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” – Oscar Wilde

What are feelings and emotions? Different people define these terms in different ways so it is actually difficult to point out the exact differences between feelings and emotions. They operate on various levels and bridge our thoughts and actions. They affect not just your mind, but your physical body as well.

Many of us think that we understand our emotions and how to deal with them, but it’s not so easy. Dealing with emotions isn’t like managing them. There are three ways to deal with your emotions, and the right one depends on your situation and state of mind.

Here are the three ways to deal with your emotions

1. Express

Just like what we did when we were kids, go on and express your emotions. When kids are happy, they run around and laugh. When they are sad, they cry. As we grow up, we learn to hide our emotions to fit into the society, but where does it land us? We have bottled up emotions that eat us up from the inside.  Now, we are not suggesting you to go run around when you are happy, but maybe a little dance in your own room would let out those emotions. And when you are feeling sad, just sit down and cry it out.

There shouldn’t be any age or gender rules that define who shouldn’t cry. Letting out emotions is a good thing. If you love someone, let it out. Show your care for them. When you don’t keep things inside you, you feel lighter and it’s easier to relax. Feeling stressed out? Try hitting a pillow using a cricket bat. All this will let your inner energies channelize in the proper way. This will let you have better thoughts and health.

When you are free of overwhelming emotions, you’ll be able to focus more on work that needs your attention. But keep in mind that this strategy is strictly context specific. Ways of letting out emotions will differ from situation to situation. For example, you cannot hit a pillow with a bat while sitting at a restaurant.

2. Talk it out

Once you have handled that outburst of energy, you need to talk to someone. Whether you are happy, sad, or angry, talking it out always helps. You can talk to a friend or a relative. If you are unable to share your thoughts with them, you can talk to a psychiatrist and get professional help. It will help you let out your pent up emotions.

And if you feel you can’t talk to a psychiatrist, you can always maintain a diary. Writing your emotions in a diary is not as helpful as talking to a person, but if you can’t share your feelings with a person, you can write it in a diary or a blog.

If you are sad, make sure you are in company. Loneliness can increase your sadness and this could result in depression. If you can’t make friends, keep a pet. A dog or a cat can keep you company.

3. Transform your emotions

This is called the cognitive change. If you are in a bad situation, you can still think about it in a different way. No matter whatever is going in your life, there can be another way of looking at the situation. One way to transform your emotions is to get busy. When you get busy, you have lesser time to think about what happened to you, and you focus more on the present. When you’ll be working, you’ll come in contact with many people, and they all will have some impact on you. This will help you transform your emotions.

For example, let’s say an employee cheated on your company and leaked out some important documents. Instead of feeling sad about it, you can feel better as you got to learn a valuable lesson from the incident. That employee could’ve cheated more and you might have faced even bigger problems. But you caught him on time and learned something from the entire thing. This way you can transform your emotions and see something positive in everything. You might want to take a few positivity lessons by meditating. Meditation helps you focus more on your positive energy, but it must be done properly with complete focus on your inner self.

But be aware- transforming painful happenings needs a lot of efforts. For this, you have to delete the original scene from your memory and reshape it in a more positive light.

What do you choose?

Emotions make life more fascinating and rich. They can be a bit challenging at times, but you should know how to deal with them. The method you choose for that depends upon you. As long as you are successfully able to handle your emotions, any method is perfectly fine.

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Tony Fahkry

Expert Life Coach