Love, Not Courage, Is The Antidote To Fear
“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” — Rumi
What would your life be like if you gave up your fears? What choices would you make? I realise this may sound unrealistic, but it can become your reality. Fear dominates us from the moment we are born. Depending on our attachment style, it will influence how we relate to others for the rest of our life, according to developmental psychologists. Fear dominates how we relate to others in intimate relationships and our work colleagues, family and friends. If we haven’t healed and transformed our childhood wounds, it will show up in our relationships.
We can become triggered and our nervous system reacts because we are not present but unconsciously recalling the past. This occurs instantly because we are unaware our unconscious programming is pulling the strings. Fear dominates other aspects of our life such as our: finances, health, career and life purpose. Admittedly, the media adds to this with constant fear-based news events. But we must decide whether we want to be dictated by fear or live a life of passion, enthusiasm and joy. Can you relate to this? Are you driven by fear in aspects of your life, even though you may not be aware of it? It requires an introspective look to see whether we are acting out of fear or love.
Love is the antidote to fear. I’m not talking about romantic love, but higher states of love as the essence of our divine nature. If we are dictated by fear, we stop taking risks and remain in our comfort zone. We look for evidence to substantiate our choices, instead of getting hurt. Do you know people like this who have an answer to every problem and are unhappy? In one sense, they become powerless after a traumatic event and cannot navigate their way out. But as you know, there are no assurances in life and we are bound to get hurt at some point.
Move Through Your Fears
“The knowledge of the past stays with us. To let go is to release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the clinging’s and disappointments of the past that bind our spirit.” — Jack Kornfield
Pain and disappointment are not meant to stop us becoming the best version of ourselves. They teach us important lessons about our place in the universe and help us overcome our setbacks and defeats. We can be dictated by pain or lead with our heart’s deepest integrity. We cannot have it both ways, so we must choose where to direct our energy. It is said: where attention goes, energy flows. We have choices and sometimes it isn’t easy because we are torn between choosing what is in our best interest and looking after our personal needs. It requires stepping out of our comfort zone in the smallest way and integrating those experiences into our life. Those who live a rich and fulfilling life take chances and even though things may not always work out, they learn from their setbacks and try again.
Is this something you’re willing to try? Could you use this time to assess where you are in your life and where you want to be in the next few years? Irrespective of your age or life’s experience, stop clutching to your fears and transform them into love. Let go of what no longer serves you, regardless of your past or whether you have been hurt. Even if you are carrying trauma from childhood, it is never too late to re-parent yourself through self-love and self-compassion. You can change your history and rewire your nervous system, despite your past. Sometimes, we are forced to heal our wounds because life will push us into the driver’s seat and plant its foot on the accelerator. Suddenly, we are going a hundred miles an hour and cannot make sense of what is happening.
But we can learn to be resilient no matter what is taking place, or how difficult our pain and suffering. So, ask yourself: What would my life be like if I gave up my fears? What would I do differently? Sit with your answers and journal them, so you can come back to them at a later time. Visualise, what tomorrow would be like if your thoughts were no longer dominated by fear? What would you do or not do? Who would you become, and what would you achieve? Don’t get to the end of your life living with regret because it will be too late by then. So, make a vow to move through your fears and transform them into love and courage. It is only then, on the other side of your fears, lies the freedom to be who you truly are.
Are You Ready to Transform Your Life with Confidence?
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Tony Fahkry
Expert Life Coach
