The Pursuit of Happiness
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” — Helen Keller
The American author and poet Henry David Thoreau once said: “Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder…” Knowing this, if we imply happiness is an elusive goal, we are framing it in the negative sense because of its absence in our life. Considering the suffering in the world nowadays, many of us believe happiness is an intangible experience. It would be remiss of me to answer this question in an article when religion and philosophy have tried to settle this dilemma for centuries. I can only reason that despite the suffering in the world, happiness is still an attainable goal.
How might this be possible, you ask? In underdeveloped countries, despite poverty, happiness prevails when people’s basic needs are met. Contrast to the developed countries where daily life is chaotic, given high rates of stress and mental illness because of our demanding lifestyle. Therefore, by drawing our awareness of the suffering in the world, we lose sight of happiness as an attainable goal. In other words, happiness cannot be a fleeting experience when our attention is directed towards it. What are your thoughts on this? Do you believe happiness is elusive or something everyone can achieve? Many people believe happiness will transform their life and so they search far and wide to discover it is contained within them all this time.
Similarly, our hectic lifestyle makes happiness harder to reach, since our minds are always preoccupied with something. Technology and communication devices vie for our attention and many people find it challenging to be alone in silence without a communication gadget attached to them. The pursuit of happiness rests in letting go of unnecessary distractions. These include: toxic thoughts, habits, negative emotions, destructive relationships, events, commitments, etc. By simplifying life, we create the idyllic conditions for happiness to thrive.
For instance, if we direct our attention to the negative aspects of life, i.e. daily news, gossip & tabloid magazines, etc., our minds are drawn to negative stimuli. This is because we cannot read the gossip magazines once without being fixated on the next ensuing drama. We should channel our awareness into worthwhile experiences, which offer us joy and happiness instead. Therefore, the notion that happiness being elusive stems from our inability to hold our concentration on it long enough. If we believe happiness is an unattainable goal, we reject it as a possibility, thus it becomes elusive. Would you agree?
How To Reconnect With Happiness
“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.” — Anthony de Mello
Regrettably, many people drive happiness away. The constant attention on their external reality not working out as planned shapes their inner world, so suffering becomes their focal point. Similarly, popular culture leaves an indelible mark on us, so we fixate on external conditions as a measure of success. Also, many people travel the world in search of happiness, seeking exciting experiences to discover it has vanished when they return home. At this point, they direct their attention towards gaining more ‘things’ or form relationships in the hope it will bring them the happiness they long for. Assuredly, the novelty wears off and soon enough, they’re back where they started; struggling to fill an empty void.
Therefore, it begs the question: does happiness happen to us? In other words, is it an externally generated experience, or a user generated experience? If we subscribe to the belief that happiness occurs without our control, we remain at the mercy of it being a fleeting experience. Conversely, if we believe we are the wellspring of our own happiness, it will present itself in our everyday life. This is empowering for several reasons, least of which submits we become the source of our joy instead of presuming it is not within our own volition. Does this idea resonate with you? Can you entertain the idea that happiness is something you create from within and not based on having idyllic conditions?
In his book Hardwiring Happiness, neuropsychologist and author Rick Hanson believes that happiness can be attained by applying a four-step protocol he calls H.E.A.L
- Have a positive experience
- Enrich it
- Absorb it
- Link a positive experience to it (optional)
To take a contrasting view, pursuing one’s dream has its own challenges, yet may still be a positive experience. The world’s greatest inventors and creatives before our time struggled with success in their respective fields amid the backdrop of pursuing happiness. To attain happiness, we must connect with our deepest nature; the essence of our spiritual being. So, we can find happiness in our everyday life experiences and it will surprise us how inviting the world can be. That is, allow the joy and rapture to emanate from within, not without. If we rush about our daily life, plugged in to electronic devices with little or no quiet time, happiness will pass us by like a high-speed rail train. Considering this, make a vow to honour the happiness within you by reconnecting with your child-like nature. Be curious about the simple things in life and I can assure you happiness will not be so elusive.
Are You Ready to Transform Your Life with Confidence?
Are you ready to transform your life and unlock your potential? Start your journey with me today! My Life Coaching Program has empowered many to achieve lasting change. Schedule your FREE 30-minute consultation now and take the first step towards a brighter, more confident you.
Tony Fahkry
Expert Life Coach
