What Does It Mean to Live vs. Exist?

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. — Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” This profound statement invites you to reflect on a crucial question: Are you truly living your life with purpose and passion, or are you merely existing, going through the motions? This might be a question you’ve never considered, but it’s a critical one. The distinction between living and existing can pave the way for a fulfilling life. I’ll explore this fundamental difference in this article and introduce you to intentional living. By understanding and embracing intentional living, you can create a life that is not only satisfying but also deeply meaningful. Join me as we embark on an inner exploration that will transform how you think about your life.

What does it mean to truly live? Here are some signs that you’re fully engaged in living your life:

1. Pursuing your passions and interests actively.
2. Building and nurturing meaningful relationships.
3. Continuously seeking personal growth and learning.
4. Embracing challenges and new experiences with an open mind.

In contrast, existing means going through the motions, lacking purpose, and feeling stagnant. It implies feeling lost or giving up hope of a better life. The key is to acknowledge why we are experiencing this state so that we may find a way through it. Living on autopilot can make us feel stuck, holding us back from exploring new possibilities and trapping us in a cycle of negativity. But these states are temporary; more importantly, they are not who we are. They are a call to self-inquiry, understanding why we feel this way, and finding purpose and meaning through our circumstances.

The Key Differences Between Living and Existing

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” — Zig Ziglar.

Let’s delve into the key differences between living and existing. These differences can significantly impact our overall happiness and fulfillment.

1. Mindset: Growth vs. Fixed

• Living: When we truly live life, we operate from a Growth mindset, as Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck termed it. This is someone who is open to new experiences and embraces challenges.
• Existing: On the other hand, a person who is merely existing is stuck in a Fixed mindset and is prone to the fear of failure. This type of thinking is subject to avoiding challenges, which limits their personal growth.

2. Relationships: Positive Connections vs. Isolation

• Living: A person who identifies as living intentionally embraces connections with others through positive relationships.
• Existing: Here, the individual might be prone to isolation, superficial interactions with others, or a lack of positive human connections.

3. Purpose: Contributing vs. Feeling Lost

• Living: A person engaged in living has a sense of purpose because they contribute to something bigger than themselves.
• Existing: An individual who merely exists, lacks direction in life, and feels lost or unfulfilled.

4. Engagement: Active Participation vs. Passivity

• Living: A person at this level actively participates by pursuing interests close to their heart. They are constantly learning, whether through mistakes or trial and error.
• Existing: On the other hand, the existing individual comes from a place of passivity and lacks curiosity. They settle for mediocrity and are unwilling to leave their comfort zone.

5. Emotions: Embracing vs. Numbness

• Living: An individual who lives their life embraces a full range of emotions and is open to challenges. They recognize when they are stuck in negativity and seek to transform these negative states by getting to know themselves better.
• Existing: An existing individual may be prone to emotional numbness, apathy, or negativity. They may find it hard to leave this state because they have become habituated.

As you can see, existing is not a state we should remain in for long because it stifles our life force and makes us prone to negativity. People who exist lack fulfillment and meaning in their lives. They experience increased stress and anxiety and miss out on growth opportunities.

Moving From Existing to Living Intentionally

“You are not your resume; you are your potential. You are your future. What are you going to be?” — Marie Forleo.

So, how can we transition from existing to truly living in a way that is meaningful to us? It’s important to distinguish here that each person should find what is intentional for them. We should be careful not to imply that everyone finds deep meaning, fulfillment, and joy in their life because we are all on different journeys. Therefore, it’s about finding what is purposeful and intentional for us and living according to those values.

There are several effective strategies for living with intention that you can start implementing in your life immediately:

1. Self-discovery:

This requires developing a sense of introspection to identify your values, passions, and goals. To live intentionally, we live according to our highest values. I realize this isn’t easy to discover, speaking as a life coach and having worked with hundreds of people over the years. However, if we start with the most minor actions and keep moving forward, we will discover what is important to us. This process of self-discovery is empowering, as it puts the reins of your life firmly in your hands.

2. Setting intentions:

You naturally move towards it by defining what “living” means and setting specific goals aligned with that vision. As mentioned in the previous paragraph, each person has a different set of principles by which they live their life. The best way to discover it is through trial and error because we learn much about ourselves. Setting intentions is about having a clear direction and cultivating a sense of focus and determination.

3. Embrace growth:

This requires stepping outside our comfort zone by learning new skills and challenging ourselves. If we are not growing and expanding, stagnation and listlessness set in, and moving out of this state can be challenging.

4. Practice gratitude:

This implies focusing on what you appreciate and cultivating a positive outlook around these qualities. It might be challenging to focus on gratitude when we exist because our minds tend towards a negativity bias. But if we look hard enough, we will discover aspects of our lives for which we can be grateful.

5. Build meaningful connections:

Investing in supportive relationships that inspire us and those we connect with is essential. Being surrounded by people who undermine our self-worth can negatively impact our lives, making us feel like we exist instead of living.

6. Take action:

It’s no surprise that we shouldn’t wait for perfect circumstances before we take action on our goals. There will never be perfect moments because life is constantly changing, and something will always be waiting around the corner to challenge us. Therefore, appreciate your current circumstances and learn to take action in the place you are right now.

7. Live in the present:

By embracing the present moment and all it offers, you open yourself to joy and, yes, even life’s difficulties. The greatest lie to humankind is that we must strive for happiness without problems or challenges. However, obstacles contribute to our personal growth, and through growth, we experience joy.

In summary, the essence of truly living lies in awakening within us the desire to live intentionally, to expand our comfort zones, and to integrate the lessons learned from being uncomfortable. It’s about connecting with our passions, values, and goals and understanding the power of a Growth mindset. So, I invite you to take a moment and ask yourself, what one action or habit can you commit to over the coming weeks that can have the most significant impact on your life? What steps can you take today to start living more intentionally? Is it a change in thinking, a habit, or a routine? Focus on this one thing for the next thirty days and notice whether things begin to change. Remember, to truly live our lives, we must allow them to soar beyond reality. So, let’s stop merely existing and start truly living!

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Tony Fahkry

Expert Life Coach