Perceiving Life Through A Victim Mindset
“The problem that we have with a victim mentality is that we forget to see the blessings of the day. Because of this, our spirit is poisoned instead of nourished.” ― Steve Maraboli
Think about a recent situation that didn’t turn out as planned? What was your initial response? How did you deal with it? How did the experience affect you? Here’s the thing: When things don’t go our way, we get annoyed and believe life is unfair. Understandably, that is to be expected because when the situation has settled, we can see what is really taking place.
As you know, life rarely goes according to plan and unforeseen events arise when we least expect it. When this occurs, we ought to look for the lessons because there may be a soul experience greater than our level of awareness. By greater, I am referring to a deeper life lesson we would not have learned otherwise. Therefore, not all storms come to disrupt our lives. Some come to clear the path for what lies ahead. Challenges awaken us to our divine nature as spiritual beings. It requires waiting patiently for the storm to pass and trusting that life knows what it’s doing; even when it makes little sense.
I realise this is harder than it sounds because we have a habit of reacting to what is taking place, given our early childhood programming. For example, when things don’t go your way, do you get anxious, frustrated, angry, or resentful? Where in your childhood did you experience a similar event? What I’m trying to say is that our reactions are not the result of what is happening now, but the accumulation of our past wounds and trauma. Therefore, if we have not healed and processed the past, we perceive life through a victim’s mindset. But this viewpoint is subjective because others might see things differently. Can you relate?
We Are Soul Beings Having An Earthly Experience
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” — Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Here’s another provocative idea: The universe has a greater investment in our personal evolution as a soul, more so than a physical being. In other words, since life is continually expanding, our personal growth as a soul contributes to the betterment of humanity’s consciousness and, of course, our own. As a result, titles, awards, status symbols and achievements, while notable in the eyes of humanity, are secondary in the eyes of the universe. That is not to underscore the value of personal accomplishment by any means. It means our reference point is to expand as soul beings foremost. Therefore, difficulties and challenges touch the lives of every person, no matter who you are. Life doesn’t discriminate where there are lessons involved.
Loss, destruction, illness, etc., may appear like the universe is punishing us. In fact, it is providing us pivotal soul lessons to awaken us to our soul nature. We are creatures of habit and rarely step outside our comfort zone, but this can keep us stuck and stagnant. If disruption and change does not permeate our lives, we experience limited growth on a soul level. In relation to the universe being invested in our soul’s expansion; it will send us experiences or difficult people, so we grow into the person required to meet the demands of those lessons. Are you comfortable with this understanding so far? I want you to appreciate that disruption and change are not intended to punish you. They should help you discover the divine qualities of yourself; as a soul being having an earthly experience.
Meaning Is Subjective To Our Level Of Consciousness
“I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.” — Joseph Campbell
Therefore, unexpected events, while disruptive, are what our soul intends for us to transcend our human limitations. How do I know, you ask? I’ve experienced two major soul experiences in my life, and I’m certain there will be more. The first was the loss of my father at 64 years, to complications from type II diabetes. I was 26 years at the time and knew nothing of death until I lost a parent at a young age. The second event occurred three years later, when I was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness at 29. Thankfully, I recovered from the illness, but having faced death on two occasions, I know intimately the score life keeps. I wasn’t convinced that life was cruel, but felt myself transformed through those experiences. As a result, I developed a deepening respect to be given a second chance of life and to be of value and service to others.
Not that I don’t experience problems and difficulties like everyone else. I face my own challenges and hardships every day, however, I approach them with a renewed mindset. I consider them through the lessons I am called to learn. These experiences allowed me to connect with a greater intelligence within me, to transcend my pain and suffering. Otherwise, I would not be writing about it had I tried to deal with them on a human level. If I tried to rationalise my experiences through logic, I may have found subjective meaning in what took place. However, I’ve learned to look for the soul lessons contained within these experiences.
So, what you consider is not benefiting you, may have its origins in a soul lesson. Your work is to discover it, instead of trying to find meaning in your situation. Assigning meaning to our pain and suffering is subjective to the level of consciousness we are operating. So, if we are caught in a victimhood mindset, the meaning we ascribe will be one of a victim mindset. It is best to set aside meaning and look for the soul lesson within our difficulties. How will you know? First, the experience is bound not to repeat itself when you overcome it. Second, you will experience an inner shift; an awakening of your spirit, so you cannot go back to living your former way of life.
With this understanding, I invite you to write in your journal or diary at least three lessons your experience is inviting you to learn. You may not get it the first time and that’s okay. This is a process, which may take days or weeks, but there’s no rush. Take your time and give yourself permission to go deeper into yourself, to discover what your soul desires for you to learn. After all, when things don’t work out as planned, the outcome may be what your soul needs for its growth, in contrast to the ego, which thrives on certainty and familiarity.
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Tony Fahkry
Expert Life Coach
