Emotional Abandonment

“The chemist who can extract from his heart’s elements compassion, respect, longing, patience, regret, surprise, and forgiveness and compound them into one can create that atom which is called love.” — Khalil Gibran

Self-compassion is vital if we are to return to love. Have you ever wondered why some people seem to be happy and content in their own skin most of the time? Do you know people who are miserable and pessimistic? How about you? What are your predominant feelings toward life? Do you like yourself? Feel worthy? Struggle with confidence? I’d like to delve into the world of self-compassion today. From the time we are children, it seems many people have experienced some sort of emotional abandonment; with a mental script that is less than optimal and often negative. They’re hard on themselves, and that harshness affects every area of their lives.

Emotional abandonment means running away from fulfilling emotional needs instead of embracing the need for self-love. Even young children think thoughts such as “I don’t like myself” and “I’m not worthy” and carry those thoughts throughout their lives. Maybe your emotional needs were not met as a child and, as a result, you grew up with low self-esteem and low self-worth. This is a very common scenario in our society. For one reason or another, babies and children believe they are not worth much. They go through life stuffing their pain and cover up the pain with addictions, people, success, or material possessions. This poses a problem because going through life this way makes for a miserable existence and leads to depression, severe anxiety, mental health disorders, and tremendous pain.

The Antidote

The good news is that this is very common and plenty of people have faced their inner struggles with low self-worth and have learned how to love themselves wholeheartedly. They’ve become vulnerable and faced their insecurities, disappointments, pain, in order to learn the art of self-compassion and acceptance. In fact, part of an adult’s life journey often leads them in a direction where they will have to face the darkness to walk more fully in the light. Sometimes growth requires walking through pain in order to find the rainbow.

Healing Inner Wounds

“You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we’re not. We always have the power of our minds…Claim and consciously use your power.” ― Louise L. Hay

Everyone encounters some pain on their life journey. It begins in childhood and continues throughout life. What people do with inner wounds that come from pain will determine their attitude and actions throughout life. Inner wounds cause some people to persecute themselves. They think: “I deserve this” or “I’ll never be good enough” and that type of thinking keeps them in a state of unworthiness. The truth is: people can be hard on themselves and they don’t realise they can learn to love themselves despite their past and their pain. Learning self-love and self-compassion is possible, and it begins with coming to that understanding.

You do matter. You’re worthy in and of yourself. You can love yourself and treat yourself with compassion. It’s wonderful to treat others with compassion, but do you treat yourself that way? Do you delight in yourself? Pamper yourself? Cut yourself some slack? Believe in yourself? Begin by looking in the mirror and see yourself as beautiful and worthy. Declare, you are worthy of love. Take time to delight and pamper yourself consistently. Accept you for who you are: your flaws and your assets. No one is perfect and you’re no exception. Embrace all of you and, as you learn to love yourself, you’ll notice love radiating from you and those you come into contact with. Life will make more sense because you will be in tune with your authentic self, which is at the core: LOVE.

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Tony Fahkry

Expert Life Coach