Free Will or Free Choice?
“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.” — Mick Jagger
In the famous Rolling Stones song, Mick Jagger reminds us of life’s greatest paradox; we can’t always get what we want. Over the years, the song line has evoked mixed feelings with me, since there are aspects to it which I do not entirely side with. Life has a mysterious force which is unbeknown to us. Often, the events that transpire stem from an experience in which a lesson ensues. For example, if life seeks to teach you trust, it will provide an experience vested in opposition to what you might expect. You may be involved in a business relationship with someone who undermines your well-meaning intentions. In doing so, life tests your resolve to trust others so you learn self-empowerment.
For instance, mainstream culture affirms that we can have whatever we want, as long as we pursue it with honourable intentions. I’m convinced we don’t have free will to get what we want. Rather, we have free choice; operating within the container of a purposeful universe that co-creates your life’s experience. Therefore, when we don’t get what we want, free will takes a back seat in the orchestration of life’s events. When I exercise free choice and collaborate with universal forces, I realise that everything I want and need shows up at the right time. How about you? What do you believe? That free will exists, determinism or something else?
When Life Has Other Plans
“I’ve never really planned my life or set out to live. I happened; things happened to me. It’s so with everyone.” — H.G. Wells
Allow me to illustrate my point with a personal case history. Having graduated from high school, I had mixed feelings about the course of study I would pursue at university. Typically, I had certain strengths and weaknesses in particular subjects, although I never really excelled in any one stream of study. Upon my final year of school, I applied to study commerce at university and an opposing course of study; a bachelor of arts in fashion design. Since I grew up in a household of skilled artisans; my father was a tailor and my mother was a dressmaker. Therefore, I showed an inclination toward the fine arts late in my childhood. I still recall sitting beside my father’s antique sewing machine as a child. I would observe him for hours crafting fine luxurious fabrics into the highest quality suits. Later on, a university lecturer intimated I had gained a visual language in tailoring after all these years.
In any event, they selected me among thousands of applicants for the fashion design course. Similarly, I missed out on selection for the commerce course; there are no accidents. The fashion design selection committee was fascinated by my technical knowledge of menswear and thus began my time learning and studying to become a designer. Fast forward several years to my final year of study. I collaborated with an Italian fashion company to produce a tailored menswear collection inspired by my late father’s work. The collection caught the eye of those in Europe and the US and they offered me design positions in Italy and New York on the strength of the collection.
But life at other plants from me. Whilst in Italy, I developed chickenpox within days of my arrival and was bedridden for two weeks. I packed my portfolio, intending to visit various design houses to present my work. Several years later, my father would pass away from complications from type II diabetes. This heralded yet another turning point in my life. My time as a successful menswear designer quickly eroded. As I write this blog, I often recall how unpredictable my journey has been. I could not have expected the outcome of my life in such detail. Nowadays, I remain in awe of the incredible gift and wisdom given to me to communicate the message of self-empowerment through my writing, speaking, and coaching. The point I wish to emphasise is that even though I exercised my free will to become a successful designer, life interceded and my free will was hijacked by a greater force. Is this something you can relate to in your own life?
Your Soul’s Path
“The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear.” — Daniel Defoe
Some of us step into our purpose while others are called to theirs. Thankfully, after all these years, I am glad things worked out the way they did. I wouldn’t change a thing, but I still wonder how far I could’ve gone if I pursued my career as a fashion designer. I believe we get what we need because what we need serve our highest potential. What we want is what the ego wants for itself. For example, in his writings, spiritual author Neale Donald Walsch talks about the soul’s agenda opposing the ego’s agenda. He suggests that your soul’s agenda is not vested in the material world. Rather, it is rooted in your personal evolution as a soul. What the soul desires and what the ego needs are two distinct elements. When your ego conflicts with your soul’s agenda, we experience suffering and inner turmoil. For those who have been blessed to discover their passion and purpose, there is great fulfilment knowing you are in alignment with your soul’s agenda.
Ultimately, I believe when our soul’s needs are met; we achieve harmony and inner bliss. The mystic Joseph Campbell said: “following your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.” Perhaps the benevolent cosmos knows precisely what we need and seeks to keep us on track toward fulfilling that greater plan. Every time you veer off track, the universe lovingly guides you back as a reminder that your purpose and dharma are greater than your ego’s agenda.
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Tony Fahkry
Expert Life Coach
